A few weeks ago, one of the heartbreaking scenarios caught the eyes of every social media user where a son was seen beating his parents openly & mercilessly on a road. There may not be a single person, no matter belonging to which community, age group or gender, who was not saddened after watching such unprecedented visuals. Everyone who came across these visuals started commenting on this with a weeping eye and full of emotions in favor of those unfortunate parents. Every human being using his tongue or finger tips started condemning and cursing that guy who was hitting his parents in such anger and sans mercy. No matter what will be the ground reality behind this incident and who among the duo (Parents & Children) was on the right side, treating parents like this is such a bad act that no religion or law can admit or appreciate. It was totally a nonsense and shameful act committed by the son hitting his parents ruthlessly.
From the very inception of childhood and irrespective of his religion, caste or community, a person is taught the value and status of parents and there is no doubt at all that parents are the biggest blessing for a person. The parents’ love towards their wards is without any greed or unfair advantage. Their love towards their wards is so unconditional and sincere that no other sort of love can be compared with the same. Parental love is the final definition of love which has no example in any kind of relationship.
The parents have been given the highest status and dignity in our Holy Quran and the Holy books of other religions as well. In a nutshell, it can be said that the highest degree of love is parental love.
Now the question arises, if parents are given so much status and standing in every religion, every community and every region. How come a person who has been taught and inculcated the value, dignity and prestige of parents from the very beginning of his/her childhood, can even talk to his/her parents in higher pitch, hitting is a remote thing. Who can be held responsible? Is it the son/daughter, who has not understood the love and respect of parents throughout his/her life or it is the parents who have failed to upbring their ward in the proper way?
So far as my knowledge is concerned, whenever there arises any issue between parents and children, no matter what the reason, there is only one answer on the tip of the tongue of every person and that is , “Children are disobedient’. I am unable to comprehend this, how is it possible that a child has been doing everything with permission and in the presence of parents for almost 20 to 30 years and all of a sudden, he becomes disobedient and disloyal just because of a little issue or disagreement? Nobody cares to intervene with a positive and sincere mindset to look into the matter but every finger and every tongue is hitting on the children.
I just want to pose a question to all the religious guides, social activists, mentors and teachers of religious preaching, that is it written anywhere in our Holy Quran or Hadith, or any religious book and anywhere in the chronicles of any sort of book or pamphlet or in any constitution of any country that whenever there arises any sort of issue or disagreement regarding any big or small matter between parents and children, the parents will always be on the right side and the children, the wrong one. Has any great social reformer or any prophet, from the very beginning of this universe, passed any such judgments that in every dispute between parents and children, the parents will always be right and the wards always be wrong, till the day of Judgement?
Let’s forget their blood relations for a while, if it is seen from the unbiased eyes of humanity it is crystal clear that both parents and children are first human beings and then the biological parent and the children. It reminds me of a very famous maxim which states, “To err is human” and that maxim is generally accepted and applied in every religion and constitution irrespectively. So from this generally accepted maxim it is crystal clear that parents and children can both make mistakes, intentionally or unintentionally, throughout life because it is in their nature which they cannot deny. The former can make a mistake as a parent and the latter as child. So, why is every time, everywhere and in every matter children targeted? With all due respect and reverence for all the parents, I just want to know that, Is there any certificate given to the parents, by any court of law, that you have become parents and now you are not human beings anymore, rather, you have turned into angels or any superhuman? I guess the answer is no.
There may be many reasons because of which there arises any dispute or disagreement between the duo. But so far as I have noticed and experienced one of the major causes of dispute is the decision regarding the future of the children. Parents sometimes make or try to make such decisions which are not favorable for the ward, so far his sentiments and capabilities are concerned. And once the ward utters the words of disagreement to the parents’ decision that is the time when he becomes disobedient and disloyal in the eyes of parents and the society in general. He has to face the hostile attitude of the parents in addition to the backlash and condemnation from the society.
I myself firmly believe that no parent/s, till the day of judgement will intentionally make such a wish or decision which will be derogatory for the peace and prosperity of his/her/their children. Even a little decree of parents is made wishing and expecting the better nourishment and development of the child. There may be 100% love and sincerity in the decisions of parents towards their wards. But that doesn’t mean every sincere decision will prove favorable for the children. Be it the decision regarding his education, job/profession, business or marriage or distribution of land and/or property. Because there is a lot of difference between being sincere and being right. I believe that parents’ decisions are always sincere and filled with unconditional love, but that doesn’t mean they will always be right and that their decision will always prove favorable and fruitful for the peace and prosperity of their child.
I have myself witnessed many such boys and girls whose life has become not less than a hell just by a single obstinate decision of their parents. Their life is miserable to such an extent that they wish for their death many times a day. They are cursing their life and existence. Some went into depression and some indulged in other immoral activities just to come out of the trauma. Even some children want to commit suicide, but could not develop such strength and courage. Reason being the obstinate nature of the parents. Parents made some absolute and ultimate decisions without considering the will and wishes & likes and dislikes of the children. And the children, being afraid of the label of disobedience and disloyalty from relatives and society in general, are compelled to succumb to their parents’ decisions. I just want to draw the kind attention of the readers towards an important point here, that is, isn’t it the loss of the parents that in case their ward goes into depression or losses his mental stability or commit suicide or any immoral activity owing to their wrong decision. Even there are some cases where parents are now repenting for their decisions but that repentance is totally in vain because the time has gone and the decision and its consequences can not in any way be reversed.
Being impartial and unbiased, I just want to request that all parents just respect and consider the sentiments, emotions and capabilities, likes and dislikes of your wards when you are making any decision regarding their future. He is also a human being with a mature mind. He has also experienced and explored the world around him or her. He/She also has the right to test his luck, because after all it is his life. Tomorrow he has to run the family and fulfill the responsibilities and compete with the world around.. If you always go on pressurizing him and oppressing and making fun of his sentiments he will lose self confidence and self respect in the society, which is a vital part of his existence. And if the same thing goes on continuously, it gives birth to such incidents which we could not watch with our eyes.
I wish our parents a long life and all the riches of the world from the depth of my heart. And I wish every ward success and prosperity throughout this life. May our parent-children relationship be full of sincere love and mutual understanding. Ameen
